Make Others Better

You may see this statement a lot but what does it really mean? Does it mean that others are “broken”? No. It means that we lead our lives as an example for others to follow. We allow ourselves to be a service to others – to make their lives better – as team mates in the game of life. We all connected – in business and life and therefore our actmakeothersbetterconnectedions ripple out.

Last summer, I was going through old files and cleaning out the office and came across one of the worst partnership contracts I have signed in my career of 20 plus years. I think most of us can relate, we have business dealings we wish we could take back and I know I do. This was one that I wish I could do over. However, when I look back at this deal, I look at how it made me better rather than focus on the negatives of the situations.

As I looked back on the partnership, I contemplated the lessons that were taught through this experience. It was not easy at first since I was still very angry at the former partner and his actions. Not at what he had done to me personally, but the cost of his actions to others. He didn’t live up to his word and he let down others. He didn’t make others better, rather, he over committed himself and didn’t take accountability for his actions. It was the opposite of “make others better” To this day, I still wonder if he realizes the fallout of his actions. I have never heard from him – no apology, no payment of the debt. Nothing. But I moved on.

As I moved forward, I focused on the lessons. How did this with him make me better? What was my lesson? I came away with three points that validated my experience with this person:

Boundaries

Since this experience, I learned where to put my line in the sand. I learned where I needed to define my own boundaries and simplify my process. I cut through the “crap” so to speak and stop allowing others to dictate my course. I found myself so frustrated with this former partner that I discovered it wasn’t him, it was me. I allow him to drive the bus when in fact I should have putting down the rules of the road.

When you define your own boundaries – you set the table for others to know where and how you will operate. This allows you control – to know when to say “Yes” to the right projects, tasks. This also eliminated or migitated excuses from others. You have less room for others to give you excuses for their lack of commitment when you have the boundaries in place.

Communication

With my former partner – emails, phone calls were very time consuming – in fact, when I deleted all the emails – over 7000 – I realize that some of this was just petty BS that didn’t need to be discussed. Mostly, due to his ADHD, I had a pretty good idea of how to communicate project tasking in a streamline way of ensuring he was on task and understood the immediate needs for the projects at hand, however, I did allow “email” creep to set in and there was WAY too many emails from him on other subjects that didn’t pertain to tasking. When you are clear in your communication, you leave little room for over communication or under communication. Especially if you are dealing with a team member or partner virtually. Your communication must be concise and on point. Take the time to really ensure your message is understood and on point – even if it means you need to pick the phone. There are just some things that do not translate in emails.

Leadership

And lastly, I know what it means to be a leader, I’ve always known and I follow my purpose without allowing someone to silence me because their own insecurity and petty ego has been their own issues for too long. I found the ability to let my voice be heard – and not let others silence me. In 20 years – in corporate world – I never once had this issue – but this experience taught me that I needed to speak up and stand at the front of the pack.

In fact – this experience led me to start #bealeader and GingerConsulting. So you could say that my partner made me better by going away.

As leaders, we must strive to ensure to make others better by encouraging others to find their own voice, not holding them back because we fear their capability or wisdom. To make others better means we are holding ourselves to our word, our truth and being honorable in all that we do. Sometimes, we can make others better in spite of what we are doing, even if we are not the best ourselves, we influence others as was the case for me with this person. He didn’t realize just what he unleashed with his negative energy. To be a better leader, we must be a leader who believes we are making others better in a positive way.

I am forever grateful to “Bakes” for the lessons he gave me…and I encourage you to make others better in your leadership and life as well.

Jennifer Olney
Over the course of my career, I have been sought after by numerous organizations to bring my talents in the arenas of sales, marketing and business development. As the Founder and Director of Business BEALEADER, I bring my experience to the table to expand the knowledge base for those seeking to find their own leader within. In 2011, I created BEALEADER to be a platform for individuals to share their expertise and leadership to make others better by being a resource of business, career and marketing solutions for those who are just starting out or maybe have a “few” years under their belt and need keep their skills fresh. In addition to the BEALEADER platform, I have developed the business units BEALEADER Business Services, which provides marketing, business development and human resource management services and BEALEADER Executive Coaching Services, which provides one on one and group coaching services to executives and individuals. These business units expand our ability and brand to make others better as we reach out to our audience with these unique product offerings. In 2014, I was named to the Inc.com list of Top 101 Leadership Speakers and I have written for several publications such as Yahoo! Small Business, Business 2 Community and others. I have also co-hosted several podcasts and in 2015 will be hosting the BEALEADER podcast for our audience as well.
Jennifer Olney
Jennifer Olney
Jennifer Olney

Latest posts by Jennifer Olney (see all)

Comments

comments

3 Comments

  • June 14, 2014

    W_Lane84

    gingerconsult Excellent! Thanks for sharing!

  • June 14, 2014

    gingerconsult

    W_Lane84 Thank you so much. Cheers.

  • June 16, 2014

    gingerconsult

    RoyMontero Indeed. Don’t sit back and let it happen – #makeothersbetter #bealeader