This week, #bealeader welcomes a special co-host Ali Rodriguez as we tackle the subject of “Respect vs. Likability” on our weekly #bealeader Tweetchat this Thursday at 7pmET/4pmPT.
Effective leadership builds a following based on a vision and values, rather than just a “nice” personality. When the leader puts the vision above “likability,” the difficult decisions may not be liked, but they build trust and respect. In many cases, trust and respect will lead to friendship — and often deeper relationships than just being liked. In a lot of teams today, we see a real lack of leadership because the leader sacrifices holding people accountable to everyone “getting along.” Think of effective leaders — past or present. How many of them were really likable?
Leading can be tough at times — decisions have impacts. And those impacts often affect people. When people dislike or question those decisions, the leader sometimes will reopen the decision, recoil from it, or fail to enforce it because they want to be liked. But leading requires followers. Not friends.
Additionally, social relationships are subjective, which can lead to inconsistency with how we treat and hold accountable one team member who is a friend, and one who is not. This inconsistency can lead to team members questioning the leader’s principles and integrity, ultimately impacting trust and performance.
Effective leadership builds a following based on a vision and values, rather than just a “nice” personality. When the leader puts the vision above “likability,” the difficult decisions may not be liked, but they build trust and respect. In many cases, trust and respect will lead to friendship — and often deeper relationships than just being liked.
The challenge for leaders is to distinguish and balance the personal relationship. The business needs to develop a close-knit team of members that trust one other, work well together, and can hold one another accountable to achieve their potential.
Ali has compiled a list of of 10 Signs Respect is more important than being Liked:
1. Decisions are consistently successful = Respect
2. Outcomes shine the spotlight on team members.
3. Dialogue is bi-directional and not one-sided
4. Reputation is of the utmost importance.
5. Acknowledging team’s value
6. Appreciating individual growth
7. Admitting to mistakes
9. Obstacle remover.
10. Decisive/Quick thinker.
Do you agree with her list? Let’s us hear your thoughts on this debate on Thursday or feel free to add your comments to this post. To join our chat this Thursday, November 14th 7pmET you can click here to use Tweetchat as the platform to participate.
Preview Questions for Our chat
Q1: Are consistent successful decisions key ingredients to Respect?
Q2: Would you respect a leader that you do not like??? If so, how?
Q3: Would you be swayed if he/she values team members and their efforts?
Q4: Are bi-directional dialogues grounds for respect?
Q5: Is reputation more important than like?
Q6: Will acknowledging a team’s value help you respect even if you still don’t like.
Q7: Is appreciating individual growth important?
Q8: Leaders who admit to mistakes, is that influential to you?
Q9: How important is self-accountability to earn your respect?
Q10: Will decisive, quick thinkers, obstacle removers take you to the respect side of this particular leader. Will you TRUST them?